I’m going to post things my gran says tonight

To start off

•Me: I rlly fancy some strongbow dark fruits

Gran: aw u should’ve said I would’ve bought u some

Mam: MAM! she’s 14

• gran: eee Eve, after Christmas we’re doing the big D

Me: ??????

Gran: Diet Diet Diet


first day of seventh grade… that was a fucking experience

so here are some out of context shit, saw @crofters-is-superior post and decided to do it so credits to them :3

-so she thought they were drugs, but actually, they were DRAGS”

– (g note plays) “WHEN I WAS, A YOUNG BOY-“ *kid starts hysterically crying and runs*

– “oh my god i went on a date with this girl and everyone tells me i should eat a salad at bread co. so i’m not fat but i actually ate her so it’s all good”


-“as a lesbian, there is only one man i would fuck, and that is bob ross”

-“why the fuck is ellen degenderes on the goddamn pole again” (said by my math teacher)

-“hey, roo, it’s fine if you dropped your books and shit, at least you didn’t drop your virginity”

i already fuckin hate school

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