o chem is problematic bc, when doing example problems on bond dissociation energy, my 58 year old prof erroneously assumed that the 150+ students in the lecture would find it unremarkable if he wrote “BDE: 69″ on the presentation board
Types of Gen Z Kids
mood™ embodied: tired, stressed, maybe depressed?? we can’t tell, knows all the lyrics to every MCR song, really nice when you talk to them, panda eyeliner, cool boots, warm smile, cute laugh, oversharing, weird aunt/uncle™, ‘haha I do that’ vine, tired, fuck society, will paint anyone’s’ nails if they ask, wrist kisses, maybe gay?? they have a flag, hates phoning family/work/anyone, tumblr, late nights at concerts, sore throats but big grins, falls asleep covered in 4 blankets
“same” rose tinted: pink roses, wears a pride pin wherever they go, prefers summer, an ally to all genders/sexualities/identification, non-confrontational but will joke about fighting you, shoulder kisses, soft eyeshadow, lidded eyes, sweet giggles, easy to fluster, wears whatever is comfy, flower fragrances, vanilla perfume, Instagram, ‘my friends will tell you I’m the nicest but not if you’re in motherfreaking isis’’ vine, likes to talk on the phone, slow dancing at 2 am in their bedroom, wants to make others smile, has lots of books they’ve never read
trying their best™: very kind, very emotional, likes hugs, forehead kisses, will argue if you talk shit about a sexuality/identity, tries to study but easily distracted, waterproof mascara, knows a lot of people but prefers their space, texting is hard, tired and running on 5 cups of coffee, wants to cry but too much to do, mismatched socks, has 5 missed calls and 21 unread messages, ‘road work ahead? I sure hope it does’ vine, vine (rip), falls asleep to asmr, reads x readers
A QUEEN: sings a lot, stans pop queens, is a queen themselves, likes glittery makeup, fashion icon in public but very messy at home, has like 2 best friends, holding hands, linking arms, knows all the gossip but only tells 3 people, ‘eyebrows on fleek’ vine, will cut you with their heels, snapchat, likes to practice makeup on others, will shower you in compliments, nose kisses, lots of butterfly kisses, snorting laughter, confident, goofy dancing at 11 pm in their bedroom
the celestial: warm hugs, gentle smiles, foreheads touching, likes to count the scars and freckles on their body, silly dancing with friends, dramatic story telling, ‘I’VE GOT A WATER MELON INSTEAD’ vine, belly laughter, is the sun, cheek and belly kisses, smudged lipstick, sometimes sad but tries to be happy, cares for their family and friends a lot, spotify, sleeps in a ball or across the entire bed – there is no inbetween, blanket hog
might cut you: distant but kind, not shy but not confident, soft smiles, mischievous smirks, ‘go suck a dick’ vine, likes to make their friends jump, airy laughter, goes along with their friends stupid ideas for fun, can cut you with their jawline and/or cheekbones, sultry dancing in their kitchen at 3 am, silly dancing in the bedroom at 9 pm, good at arguing, listens to ghost stories for fun, immune to horror movies, a little indifferent but has a good heart, commitment is scary, reddit
my favourite character died again: probably runs a meme account on some platform, john cena intro on the recorder vine, writes fanfiction of their favourite ship, back pains/wrist pains/emotional pains, says ‘mood’ to everything, cried when peter died in infinity war, is best friends with two of their professors/teachers, constant cringy flashbacks, AO3, watches [insert favourite show] on crack videos, internal screaming, all makeup is smudged, illegible handwriting, what is homework??? i do not know her
sleep is for the mentally stable: done with everything, easily annoyed, likes maybe 1 person??, will die for that 1 person, likes to stress-bake, tired and on 3 shots of espresso, youtube, has another project to do, mean glare, shy smile, has really nice eyes, ear kisses, short head nuzzles, haha I’ve forgotten what sleep feels like, mini migraines constantly, likes art and music, window shopping, ‘you remember one time I liked you?’ vine, falls asleep in weird places, is cuddly with 2 people (one is their parent), would rather be a cat
There’s someone who has their iPhone named “hot single horses in your area” and they airdrop people pictures of horses randomly. Nobody knows who it is. Once, during an assembly, the laptop that the projector was from had airdrop turned on, and in the middle of a presentation about bullying, it popped up in front of the entire school.
HOT SINGLE HORSES IN YOUR AREA WANTS TO SHARE AN IMAGE.
A picture of a horse, with text in bubble letters over it saying “available”
whoever they are they’re my hero
Someone spilled their dunkin donuts coffee in the school lobby so this kid got out his dunkin donuts uniform and started directing traffic around it saying things like “Ma’am watch out, this is a DUNKIN DONUTS MATTER”
when a security guard walked up to him to ask what he was doing the kid told him to stand back he was just doing his job
My friend Carlos threw a hydroflask across the cafeteria and the moment it landed I just heard a goddamn CHORUS of emotionless “sksksksks”
I forgot to add
- I spilled water on my computer at school and a girl immediately offered me a hairdryer. She just carries one in her purse at all times
Y’all I have evidence for some of these
Business teacher wearing tie over a T-shirt
Ukulele boys (they were alternating between themselves since there was only 1 ukulele)
Girl crying over ducks
Things that have happened so far in senior year:
- We complimented the principal and he said “thanks I have low self-esteem”
- Business teacher showed us a Mean Girls clip and analysed Regina George’s leadership tactics
- Girl cried in business class over baby ducks on sale and a dude next to her just said “did you know they’re food in Portugal?” and she just started crying even more
- Teacher said he had some weird songs on this phone and popular girl randomly went “I have weird sounds on my phone too”
- English teacher showing how to analyse poetry by saying “Ding ding, it’s a penis!”
- Two boys playing the ukulele in the middle of PE while playing dodgeball
- Same ukulele boy says to another guy “YOUR MASCULINITY IS FRAGILE”
- Girl in math class (daughter of an anti vaxxer) starts coughing and immediately accuses boy on the opposite side of the class of giving her measles.
- A guy came running up to me saying “IT’S SO COLD” as he removed his jacket, rubbed his hands together, and yelled “BASKETBALL TIME!”
- Teacher asked the class if it was anybody’s birthday (from our grade) over the holidays. Girl shouts out “MAAAARY.” There is no Mary at our school.
- Business teacher wore a tie over a T-shirt because his dress code specifies ties are obligatory, but there’s no rules about button ups being so as well.